Thoughts

I wish I had written this earlier today, while the thoughts were fresh in my head, spinning me in circles. I sat at home today and several times watched and listened as my parents "interacted." I say "interacted" because there really is no other way to put it. My mom had very little patience today, less than normal. My dad, well, he's just my dad. You have to explain things in the most simple, straight forward way possible, and then hope he was listening. They didn't get along at all. This has been a common occurrence my whole life, but even more so since my dad half-retired last spring. The concerning part is that in two weeks, he will be fully retired, and at home all day, every day. If my parents can't get along now, what will it be like then? Aren't old retired couples supposed to be sweet, caring, and cute?

I've always wanted that. Someone to grow old with, love and care for, forever. But will I just turn out like they are? Then, it may not even be worth it. I don't want to live my life alone, but I don't want to be seen by my kids (if God gives me any) in the same way that I see my parents. I want to be like the cute old couple in Up that spend their whole lives together and live for each other, even past one's death. I wonder if God will bless me in that way. Will He ever send me someone who can not only put up with me all the time, but love me that much? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.