Never expected this much emotion. I know she's grown up, but it just hit me how much I have missed. And how much I'm missing of Bean's life. Only God knows when I'll see him again. I can't even text or Facebook him anymore. What have I missed in the year I haven't been able to talk to him. I won't even know him anymore. I can't breathe. I can't handle this. I just want to run. Can't even sit in Jr high. I hear them worshipping and it touches my heart, but I know once the tears welling up release, I'll have no control. No means of stopping them. God, I want to be with my family.